The death of a family member or someone close to us is a very painful loss. The loss for which most of us are least prepared. It happens to everyone. It is part of life and cannot be prevented. Although it is part of life, the loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and can cause a major emotional crisis. If it is a sudden death, some people are in shock. When you are shock you don’t register any feelings. You aren’t able to cry much, or any. Denial is often present in the early stages of a loss. You need to allow yourself time to grieve because it is an important aspect in your healing.
We may experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death is expected…denial, pain, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, anger, despair and guilt to name a few. These emotions are healthy, normal and appropriate and will help us to express ourselves and our pain. We have to undergo process just before we accept our loss. You must give yourself time to grieve for as long as necessary. Each person grieves in his own way and in his own time. Some people need more time to grieve. Reactions to loss vary from person to person. Reactions depend on your personality, your beliefs, the existence of previous losses, and the social support you receive.
Here are some phases that we undergo during the death of loved ones:
Denial phase
On this stage, you still cannot believe and you still cannot accept it. Your head is yelling that it is not true and it can never be true. This is the hardest phase that we have to undergo. There are times that you will cry uncontrollably while walking and seeing something that reminds you of the departed loved ones or waking in the middle of the night…crying and hoping that everything is just a dream. There are times when we even try to call his/her name, wishing that the door would open and he/she comes in like he/she used to do. It takes time, a very long time just before we can recover from this phase. This may be a battle that is better fought with the help of someone else. We could have a friend by our side to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
Anxiety
Physical symptoms such as disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, restlessness and fatigue are common during the first few months of loss. The fear of losing another loved one is common after a death and may result in excessive worry for the safety and health of others closest to you.
Guilt phase

Regret and Guilt this time. You may regret that you didn’t do as much as you could do for the person or the guilt that it wasn’t you who died. You may feel guilty for things you said in anger or regrets for things that you could have said but you didn’t. You probably did the best you could do at the time. At this time, the problem is you know that you can no longer do and undo those things.

It is most important to accept the fact that there are events we just can’t control. Guilt and regrets are part of life just the same as the birth and death. You should forgive yourself…you should accept that there are things that we cannot do anymore no matter how many tears we shed…you should accept and forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a process. It may take quite a while but you need to help yourself in order for you to heal.
Acceptance phase
Acceptance means that you have reached the final stage. Although the pain is still there… this time you already accepted that death is a part of life and you can no longer do anything about it. You must accept death and loss. The death is an inevitable part of life. It is something we cannot do anything to stop.You will always love that person, but you must realize that you are alive. You must go on with your life
How to overcome grief?
You should find new activities, form new relationships, and become more active and independent. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. You should talk about your loss with friends and family. You may talk to the people who experience loss of their loved ones too… listen on how they cope to it. Listen to what they will say…even if you don’t want to follow…learn from their words; take courage from it step by step. You must talk about the loss until you accept it. The more you talk, the more you will realize that the loss is real, the easier you will accept it. When someone offers you help, accept it… You should seek the support of people who are sympathetic and supportive. You may need some time alone just after a loss, but as time passes, loneliness may become a larger problem. You must help yourself to recover. You have to learn to live and to function without that person in your everyday life.
You must keep going. You should learn to understand your thoughts, feelings and the grieving process. Give yourself time. You know that no matter how painful it is, how lost you feel, soon it will get better. Life is a big battlefield… and you have to be strong to survive.

Do you believe in a word such luck? I know some will say it’s true while others will say its not. Luck is something like in joining a raffle draw… and out of the million people joining, you will be the lucky winner…that is luck. But being hired in a job… that is something different. You are the one making your luck. You have to compete with the other applicants, you have to show your best self, you have to show all your credentials just to prove you are worthy.

Now, I think it is easier to see the difference between the two. Actually, the important thing is you know how to manage luck… no matter what kind of luck you have.

To be able to do this:

• you should be able to give importance to your luck.
• learn to use your luck wisely. If it involves money…think of savings, starting new business or investments.
• grow with your luck; Improve and develop your self as well as your life.
• invest for the future. Save for the rainy days
• be thankful.

“Giving up doesn’t mean you are weak…sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go…”

Giving up is never easy. It is even harder if what you have to give is someone that you really love. When you want and love something too much, giving it up is the last thing that you want to do. But there are times, that no matter how much you try keeping it, you realize it is no longer for you, and letting go is the last thing you can do.
Of course, you can do trying… to hold it back, fix things and make it work. But if you fail, all that it can give is time for you to take all your strength and accept that you have to let it go. No matter how painful it is, if you have to bite your lips to stop the tears… go on. Because sometimes , letting it go is the only way to prove that you are strong enough to accept the things you cannot change.

I know most of the time, many things in life prevent us from doing things that needs to be done, esp. when we feel that its beyond our capability. Fact is, we need a lot of self convincing and courage the things we want to accomplish… we have to practice, research and try a little more. Don’t loose your hope and don’t let failure discourage you. Remember that with proper knowledge and practice, nothing is impossible.

In life, things will sometimes fall into something that is far from expected. Draining our faith and courage. It is important that we keep our focus no matter what. For sure, whatever we are facing will mold us into a better person. We just need to trust ourselves.

Trying always make sense… even if sometimes not in the way we want it to be.

What does frugal living means? Does it mean having a lifestyle that is poor and cheap?

The answer is a big NO!

Frugal living means simply making your money go further. It is wisely cutting back on things that you don’t necessarily needed… but doesn’t mean completely living without it. Say you allocate $200 for groceries. You can reduce it to $150 by buying only what you need and few on things you want. If you buy 2 dozens of chocolates… then why not reduce it to 1 dozen.

To be frugal is to cook meals at home, instead of getting takeaway or eating outside. It is about going to  garage sales to buy pre owned clothes and goods, instead of paying full price in a department store. It is about finding discounted items instead of new arrival. It is about doing inexpensive or free things with your children, such as a play at the park, riding your bikes, having a scenic walk around your neighborhood or playing hide and seek in the backyard.

Do not be ashame to reuse and recycle the items you have at home. There is no harm in reusing items as long as it is healthy and sanitary. Recycle items such as old towels, washcloths or shirts as dust clothes, old jeans can make a cute purse, etc. You can get the same benefit out of these items as you would those high priced items on the store shelves for no price at all. And you can take it as an opportunity to have a bonding time or group activity for the family.

Frugal living simply means living smart!