Everyone of us experienced pain in the past. There is no exemptions to that. Things happen whether we like it or not, prepared or not. And there are times that we cannot do anything about it…but to accept. Some will say… it is meant to be. (destiny is the exact word for it)
Perhaps what people failed to understand in life is that, “Our life, is our choice.” There are times in our lives that situations can bring us down, if we allow them. They can crush us and bring us under the enormity of depression and despair that resides in our insecurities, loneliness and any other myriad of negative life situations. What we choose to do with our life because of these situations is really up to us. We can use it as an excuse to shield ourselves from being hurt, from trying, from attaching ourselves to others, from trusting others and so on…In everything that we do… we can put the blame on it. IT IS OUR CHOICE.I could list the number of times that I felt a lot of depressions in life. I experienced before and after the age of 18….from childhood up to now. But it probably wouldn’t do any good and I am well beyond the necessity of revelation therapy. Therefore, no matter what it is that you have in your past that troubles you, it’s up to you how you deal with it. There are people who have been abused become abusive themselves. While others made a conscious efforts to avoid following the paths that were taught to them. Though we cannot expect people to react 100% right, it’s imperative that we look at it from another perspective. In what group would you want to belong? Are you willing to devote time into relearning the correct ways to handle emotion? The key word in both these questions is YOU; because “Your life, is Your choice!” It makes me sigh when my friends excuse their negative actions and beliefs on, “Well, it runs to my family.” It doesn’t matter what kind of family you have, what matters is how you choose to do with that experience. Will you wallow in self pity and contentment because your family did, or will you look at those situations as if they are ways for you to learn and improve? Life’s hard. We can’t change the whole world. When something happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, there’s no way to change it. All you can do is learn and grow. You’ll be amaze to see how your life…how your future can change if you want it to be.

The death of a family member or someone close to us is a very painful loss. The loss for which most of us are least prepared. It happens to everyone. It is part of life and cannot be prevented. Although it is part of life, the loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and can cause a major emotional crisis. If it is a sudden death, some people are in shock. When you are shock you don’t register any feelings. You aren’t able to cry much, or any. Denial is often present in the early stages of a loss. You need to allow yourself time to grieve because it is an important aspect in your healing.
We may experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death is expected…denial, pain, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, anger, despair and guilt to name a few. These emotions are healthy, normal and appropriate and will help us to express ourselves and our pain. We have to undergo process just before we accept our loss. You must give yourself time to grieve for as long as necessary. Each person grieves in his own way and in his own time. Some people need more time to grieve. Reactions to loss vary from person to person. Reactions depend on your personality, your beliefs, the existence of previous losses, and the social support you receive.
Here are some phases that we undergo during the death of loved ones:
Denial phase
On this stage, you still cannot believe and you still cannot accept it. Your head is yelling that it is not true and it can never be true. This is the hardest phase that we have to undergo. There are times that you will cry uncontrollably while walking and seeing something that reminds you of the departed loved ones or waking in the middle of the night…crying and hoping that everything is just a dream. There are times when we even try to call his/her name, wishing that the door would open and he/she comes in like he/she used to do. It takes time, a very long time just before we can recover from this phase. This may be a battle that is better fought with the help of someone else. We could have a friend by our side to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
Anxiety
Physical symptoms such as disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, restlessness and fatigue are common during the first few months of loss. The fear of losing another loved one is common after a death and may result in excessive worry for the safety and health of others closest to you.
Guilt phase

Regret and Guilt this time. You may regret that you didn’t do as much as you could do for the person or the guilt that it wasn’t you who died. You may feel guilty for things you said in anger or regrets for things that you could have said but you didn’t. You probably did the best you could do at the time. At this time, the problem is you know that you can no longer do and undo those things.

It is most important to accept the fact that there are events we just can’t control. Guilt and regrets are part of life just the same as the birth and death. You should forgive yourself…you should accept that there are things that we cannot do anymore no matter how many tears we shed…you should accept and forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a process. It may take quite a while but you need to help yourself in order for you to heal.
Acceptance phase
Acceptance means that you have reached the final stage. Although the pain is still there… this time you already accepted that death is a part of life and you can no longer do anything about it. You must accept death and loss. The death is an inevitable part of life. It is something we cannot do anything to stop.You will always love that person, but you must realize that you are alive. You must go on with your life
How to overcome grief?
You should find new activities, form new relationships, and become more active and independent. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. You should talk about your loss with friends and family. You may talk to the people who experience loss of their loved ones too… listen on how they cope to it. Listen to what they will say…even if you don’t want to follow…learn from their words; take courage from it step by step. You must talk about the loss until you accept it. The more you talk, the more you will realize that the loss is real, the easier you will accept it. When someone offers you help, accept it… You should seek the support of people who are sympathetic and supportive. You may need some time alone just after a loss, but as time passes, loneliness may become a larger problem. You must help yourself to recover. You have to learn to live and to function without that person in your everyday life.
You must keep going. You should learn to understand your thoughts, feelings and the grieving process. Give yourself time. You know that no matter how painful it is, how lost you feel, soon it will get better. Life is a big battlefield… and you have to be strong to survive.

In marriage, it is important that we know the importance, needs, and role of each other. In this topic, we will talk about woman.
Women have a great capacity for love – in giving and receiving it. To explain it more, when a woman prepares a meal, her love mingles with the food. When a mother rises for the two o’clock feeding, she does it with love. When she frosts a birthday cake, love shines through her eyes.
A woman’s capacity to love can draw the very best from a man… it can make him feel wanted, needed, important, and great. The way she patiently wait for him to arrive from a whole day work symbolizes her love. When his nerves and spirit are shattered and exhausted, her loves can comfort him. When discouragement crushes his will and his hopes and dreams have crumbled, she can help him build new ones.
Many men are nearly totally unaware of a woman’s need for romantic love. For men, romance might be an added benefit, but certainly not a requirement. But not with a woman! A relationship without romance would drive her wild with frustration. She needs to be cherished, loved, respected, appreciated and be treated special. It is unjustifiable for a man to ignore his wife’s need for romantic love as it is for her to deny him his sexual urges.

I am sure that those couples who will be getting married… prepares a lot for the very special day. Invitations are all sent, foods and cake already have their designs and motifs, wedding gown and tuxedo fits perfectly, choir are practicing their songs while souvenirs are all in the tray. Everything is just well prepared.
Wait a minute lovers, I just want to ask… didn’t you forget something? Did you prepare yourself? Of course I know., you are already through with your facial session, spa and hot oil. What I am asking is yourself morally and spiritually.
Are you matured enough to face all the responsibilities that goes after wedding. Do you love your partner enough to stand with him through thick and thin…whatever life may bring? Are you really willing to give up your freedom and shut your eyes from 2,300,000 lovely ladies and gorgeous gentlemen and instead be faithful to your partner? Are you willing to set aside your figure and be ready to bear a child in your womb? Are you willing to give up 60%, worst 100% of your salary you always spend for “good time”, and spend it for the food, education and welfare of your family-to-be?

If your answer is YES, Congratulations! You can invite me on your 50th anniversary. More likely your marriage will succeed.
If NO, its less expensive to cancel the wedding than to get annulment.

Is there such word as perfect marriage? I think there is none…as there is no such thing as perfect relationship. No matter what kind of relationship you have. Surely, there will always be fights, misunderstanding and differences. But with love for each other, respect and faith in God, married couples can work out with their differences and make a successful marriage.
Many couples fall in love, marry, start their own family and assume that everything else will work out automatically. Little that they know, that a successful marriage does not come spontaneously or by chance.
Plato used a ladder to illustrate growth of relationship by married couples. The two sides of t he ladder represent the man and the woman. Every steps of the ladder represent the things that keep them together.
Couples get married for different reasons. Some because of love while others for convenience. Some because they want to start their own family while others just to escape from a bad home situation. Some because they are ready to commit themselves while others just to give a baby a name. The reason why we get married will have a great impact on the way we will see our married life and the way we will live our life.
In cases like couples no longer solve their problems on their own, couples should not feel reluctant to seek counsel from their families, the people they trust or even professional counselors. But they should be aware that there is no instant cure for a troubled marriage. Even the best counselor can only offer support and compassion. The will of every couple to solve their problems and work out their differences would be the one to settle things and problems between them.

It all started when a man and a woman promise to cherish one another, in the eyes of their friends and families, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, as God as their witness…till death do them apart.
Very much prepared from their invitations, dress, make up, bouquet, arrangement of flowers, church, reception, souvenirs, pictures or video coverage…even the honeymoon hotel.
After the wedding ceremony, the guest will go home with their souvenirs. The wedded couple will go on with their honeymoon.
Finish.
But it is not as simple as that. Their lives begin after the ceremony ends.
The question is, are they prepared for the life ahead? Can they keep their promise to be faithful to each other? Will they stand strong together no matter what life may bring?
Often than not, married couples doesn’t know what life is after wedding ceremony.
Is marriage enough to keep them together?